Teal'c Sings Soft Kitty to Sheldon
by SuperBear
Summary: The title says it all. Special guest star: Captain Picard.


Ominously, it moved.

Okay, maybe it didn't really move ominously. It was, after all, just a robot-like device wearing a Green Lantern T-shirt.

Which was odd. You don't often see a virtual presence device wearing a T-shirt, Green Lantern or otherwise.

But then not every virtual presence device had such an unusual owner-operator.

Three times, the device bumped against the door marked "4B." Each time a voice said, "Penny."

The face of Sheldon Cooper peered out from a screen above the T-shirt.

Across the hall, the lanky physicist was lying on his bed with a broken ankle.

The virtual presence device was a way for the incapacitated Sheldon to interact with the outside world. Or in this case the holodeck.

A hologram of Sheldon's neighbor Penny opened the door and greeted Sheldon with, "What's the gist, physicist?"

The real-life Teal'c, a very large member of the time travel team SG-1, finished walking down the stairs.

"Greetings, Sheldon Cooper," he said cordially with a slight bow.

"Hello, Penny. Hello, Teal'c." Sheldon and Teal'c were both members of time travel teams created in response to the Joker Crisis. In that crisis, some rogue members of the Q, a group of very powerful beings, had given the Joker the power to alter reality and create altered timelines.

Working against the rogue Q, other members of the Q had provided the time travel teams with tools to fight the Joker. In addition, there was a holodeck for rest and relaxation.

It was in this holodeck that Teal'c stood with his hands behind his back.

"Hey, Teal'c, what's up?" Hologram-Penny spoke in the casual friendly way she usually talked.

Teal'c bowed again. "I am well, Penny-"

The last name was cut off as Sheldon spoke in a great burst.

"Now hold on! I've got a knock knock joke. Knock knock!"

"Who is there?"

"Interrupting physicist."

"Interrupting-"

"Muu-u-u-on!" Sheldon exclaimed. Then he let out his gasping laugh which was like a dog panting in a quick short burst. "Here's another one. Knock knock!"

"Okay, I'll bite," Penny said. "Who's there?"

"Interrupting geologist."

"I think I see where this is going. Interrupting-"

"Gee-o-o-ode!" More of the gasping laugh. Then:

"Penny, will you sing 'Soft Kitty' to me?" Sheldon pleaded gently. "You and Teal'c both. Oh! And a hologram of Captain Picard." A smiling Sheldon clapped his hands as he bounced up and down. "Ow!" he said.

Hands still behind his back, Teal'c offered a slight bow. "I am pleased to assist you in any way I can, Sheldon Cooper." Sheldon and his team built the space-time tunnels that allowed SG-1 to travel to any point in time they needed to go.

"Yeah, me not so much," Penny said. "Sheldon, I really don't want to sing to this stupid robot-thing."

"If you prefer, you could sing it to me in person."

Immediately, Penny began singing. "'Soft kitty, warm kitty-'"

"Now hold on!" Sheldon said in his slight East Texas accent. "You have to wait for Teal'c and Captain Picard." From inside the screen, Sheldon looked up while he sharply clapped his hands. "Holodeck: Program Picard! Authorization: Sheldon Alpha!"

"Oh, here we go," Penny groaned quietly.

A hologram of Captain Jean-Luc Picard appeared. The bald starship captain grinned as he adjusted his tunic and took his place next to Penny and Teal'c.

"We are ready to sing 'Soft Kitty' to you, Sheldon Cooper," Teal'c announced.

Together they sang.

While Picard sang loudly and jubilantly in his rich baritone, hologram-Penny sang gently in the voice of Judy Garland. (Not at all like the caterwauling of real-life Penny.) Teal'c sounded more like Isaac Hayes chanting.

Yet somehow their voices blended together:

"Soft kitty, warm kitty,

Little ball of fur.

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty.

Purr, purr, purr."

Once again, Teal'c bowed. As he went upstairs, Penny started downstairs with Captain Picard.

"Hey. Can you beam me over to the Cheesecake Factory?"

"I'll make it so!"

On the device screen, Sheldon's daft grin showed he was very happy. And he was also being quiet, like he was in the zone. But not the Phantom Zone. Sheldon didn't like the Phantom Zone.

A happy quiet Sheldon. It was a lot like seeing Bigfoot and a unicorn at the same time.


End file.
